Now don't get me wrong, I think that everyone, at some point in their life needs a motivational speech given to them. However, what annoys me is when a school, or job (Well actually I don't know if jobs do this, I've never had one...) bring in a motivational speaker to talk to us as a whole group. If you've never had the pleasure of experiencing a motivational speaker, let me do a quick summary of what to expect. For the sake of ease, this example will be one for a high school motivational speaker, but I'm sure it can also apply in some way or form to any other environment.
What will happen first is that you will most likely get an announcement over the intercom that you will be having an assembly today, so you start to moan a little since you think it's probably something stupid like a class meeting for selling chocolate bars or spare tires to help raise money. But then you remind yourself that at least you're getting out of your earth science or Spanish II class and let out a brief sigh of relief. Then, as your walking to the gym, you begin to hear songs like u2's Beautiful Day playing loudly over the cheering students and you think to yourself "Hey! Maybe we're having a pep rally!" and a sudden burst of happiness fills your heart. But then you at last enter into the gym and notice that there is no dancing mascot, no basketball players shooting three's, only a large, middle aged man standing in the center with a big grin on his face as he's pointing to students in the crowd as he's trying to interact with them. All hope has at last left you as you realize this is no pep rally, it's in fact a motivational speaker.
Once everyone has sat down, the speaker will usually open up with a joke that isn't funny, or some life experience that isn't funny, such as "So on my way to (Insert town you're in) I drove past (Insert funny looking person) while he/she was (Insert strange activity)". Or if you live in a town like me all the jokes are usually about how difficult it is to get to the school since we live in a valley that has mountains, glaciers, and inbreeds surrounding it on all sides (One of those is made up). Once the speaker is done telling his joke he will usually introduce himself with things like where he's from (Don't care), what he does (Duh, you're a motivational speaker), and why he's here (Usually it involves motivating people). He will then proceed to go into his lecture of why people need to be great at what they like and succeed in life and go to college. He'll, of course, use "cool" words when he talks so that he can connect better with the students to make us think he's like one of us. He'll also probably throw random things into the bleachers, like water bottles or shoot t-shirts with one of those awesome cannons. He'll tell the students to shout phases at him like "I swear to be AWESOME!", yet only about half the student body will respond. He then acts like he was prepared for this by saying "I can't HEAR YOU!", at which point everyone feels bad so we just play along. Then he'll tell us what "I swear to be awesome." is in some foreign language like Spanish or Vietnamese so that we can leave feeling multicultural. This will go on for about an hour or two, when at last he'll recap everything he said, which is pretty much to stop being lazy, and will tell us to go out into the world and be the best that we can be.
Like I said before, I have no problem with motivational speakers when it comes to talking to people one on one, but if you have it as a whole group, it just makes people annoyed and wonder how much money it cost for you to hire this guy. So next time you're at a motivational speech, I dare everyone to refuse to respond when the person asks to shout something at him. I know it's hard to resist once he says "I can't HEAR YOU!"...but I really want to know what happens if still no one responds.
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